it is soooo over!

I am trying to kill my feelings.
If you're not mine, you can't be belong to anyone else.
so I rather don't have the feelings!

as the Smirnoff go down to my throat, you are going down

I GIVE UP ALREADY, SO,,,

See this heart
Wont settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
I'm terrified of what you'll do
my stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away
So I can breathe
Even though you're far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes to high
Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye

I HAVE GIVE IT UP, SO YOU MAY LEAVE.

it's been an exam week - a hectic one

surprisingly I can stay awake until 2 and studying.. then woke up at 6.30 in the morning.

lol.well, it not my habit for me to sleep that late.. I have my own routine - I need 8 hours of sleeping Yeah, I guess it's healthy.

oh talking about my exam.
I HAVE DONE WHAT IS NECESSARY SO, I HOPE IT WILL BE GREAT.
I hate to say it, but I really need a good mark to enlighten my days..
yeah since there's a lot of worries going around my head.

I want to have a great internship!

so I just wait to see what Hyatt have to offer. Challenging. Why not?

I officially dedicated my self for preparing my future.
I AM SERIOUS,
I'm not going so far away if I just want to get 'average' things to have and experience.
So close to everything I need, I can't waste it.
When I am thinking about something BIG. It has to be BIG.
In this particular moment of youth I am ready to take my self to where I want to be in the future.
And (back to love life) I don't need someone who can only make me suffer.
yeah. him! (you-know-who guy)
JUST LIKE MY DAD SAID.. PERFECT MAN WILL COME LATER.. WHEN YOU ARE A GREAT WOMAN THEN YOU'LL GET A GREAT MAN.

but in my youth time. it's in your blood you know. LOVE.
not a mature love, but more to... yeah you know what..

so, I'll save a room in my heart always for whoever out there that soon to be mine always.
good luck for us someday.
anyway I love you whoever you are.
lets wait.


xoxo
GOOD NIGHT...

Maliq n d'essential ALWAYS AN INSPIRATION

Coba coba katakan kepadaku bahwa kita sedang berjalan menuju satu alasan
Janganlah kau katakan bila kita memang tak ada tujuan dari apa yang dijalankan

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..

Coba coba katakan kepadaku sekali lagi bila kita memang benar akan kesana,
Buktikan dan buat aku percaya bahwa kita bisa mewujudkan bahagia..

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..

Ohh.. Oh.. Habis sudah semua rangkai kata..
Telah terungkap semua yang kurasa..
Yang kuingin akhir yang bahagia.. hoo..

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka..

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..

Wohoho.. Dudududu…
Wohoho.. Dudududu…

Yang ku inginkan..
Satu tujuan..
Sebuah kenyataan..
Bukan impian..
Bukan harapan..
Bukan alasan..
Satu kepastian..

Coba katakan..

YOU are full of surprises

where I can find you?

I HAVE TWO ANSWERS: nowhere, or everywhere. silly

SILLY ME,

i smiled to the wall and say nothing, not even a simple HI!
herrrggh.

WHAT DO I LIVE FOR RIGHT NOW?

I live for getting trough my 4 years of school.
come on, I am going on the process.
give my fuel of life.

yeah, as you probably guess, I am stressed.
SOON, I will have my accounting test.
YEAH, I got to kick butt!


get some good or REALLY GOOD SCORE WILL ROCK ON MY HOLIDAYS.

hope a splash of great holiday is waiting for me.

wherever, yeah

my accounting and other thing need to be GOOD, EXTRA GOOD.


always love my life,

xoxo

:O

if I could I'll avoiding you..

I "HATE" YOU

do you know that I really want to go to you and say how I have felt?
I really need you to know. or not...

all I want is stop making me wanting 'something' so bad.
I have another deal to work on, but you still there. in my brain.
how come?
please come out.

maybe I am pulling myself even deeper.
no way.
I need to make it stop.
I wish you the one who stop for me, by you-know-how-I-want-it ><

PLEASEEEE...

it's the closest thing to crazy.
I don't want to wait too long.


shit, I hate you.

(you know I never mean that)



:P

"hate you.." xoxo

D is for DEADLINE

I am in a lot of deadline. for school till D's problem.
yeahh.. it is too hectic to even think about D. and this week and another next week supposed to be about me and my GRADES! yaa!
but I set my brain to STOP getting the image that I'll move on with D this up-coming 3 weeks. yah, but I feel I will face the reality that it will need a BIG effort. and I am probably not ready going to take t the challenge life offer me. OR MAYBE I WILL SINCE I WANT IT SO BAD.

"I DONT WANT TO WAIT FOR MONTHS JUST TO SEE YOU AGAIN"

At least if I can have any contacts with you, I can speak with you.

hey and my other plan it just to FRIENDS. will it be easier?

hope so..


get me there.